Only one thing comes to mind when I think about a change in the place I live: Hollie moving out of course!  As much as I love my older sister and my niece I was sick of sharing a room.

This year I definitely spent most of my time at Starbucks.  I know what you’re thinking: “Well duh!  You work there!”  But even when I wasn’t working I would love to show up and see who was chilling outside.  There has not been a single night that I’ve been there that at least one coworker wasn’t sitting there with their friends playing guitar and just messing around.  The atmosphere is always so alive and exciting, even when I’m in the worst of moods.  And I don’t even go into my store all the time, occasionally I’ll stop by one of the Starbucks locations here in Manteca (because who has the money to drive to Tracy every day?) and it’s always the same thing; exciting and alive.

I know that it’s ridiculous spending so much time at my workplace, but what can I say?  I just love it.

Definitely one of the only moments of  peace I’ve felt at all this year was during one of my many trips to The Top of the World.  The atmosphere is so relaxing up there and after just a few moments I felt like I could solve all of the problems that I was facing at the time.  It was pure amazement.

I honestly can’t say that I’ve had very many great nights out this past year.  Well, would you if you lost a lot of friends?  That’s what I thought.

But my friend Sabrina is known for being there for me when I need someone to talk to or I need a night out.

This night we had gone to the Plea For Peace Center in Stockton to see one of our old buddies, Morgan Manificier.  He was playing a show (cos he does all that music stuff) and it was the first time we had seen him since he left for France (he was a foreign exchange student at our high school a few years back.  He just moved back and is going to school in Oakland).  Afterward, we went to the movies with our friends Jason, Febo, and Adam to see Zombieland (which was hilarious).  We then migrated over to Jason’s driveway and honestly sat outside for a good three hours before I finally left.

That night was full of inside jokes and a little bit of “getting at.”  I know that we didn’t do any of the typical jagerbombs or dancing around on tables but I can honestly say that this night was the best one I had in a long time.

This post was a bit hard for me.  I read so much that I nearly forgot about the one book that’s taken me the entire year to read.  Definitely the best book I’ve read this year has been The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.  It’s taken me so long to get through it, but it was so worth it.  I first heard about this novel through my friend Melina, but I really decided to read it when my high school counselor told me about a scholarship given to students who write an essay about the novel.  I love the way Rand expresses herself through objectivism.  Since I enjoyed this book so much, I’ve read a few of her essays and I bought her novel Atlas Shrugged (although I have yet to start it).  I definitely recommend that you all check out some of Ayn Rand’s stuff.

Is it any wonder that my best restaurant experience this year was also in Europe?  I’m sure a lot of these bests will be.  Consider it the rest of those damn Europe blogs I never completed.

This particular night was our last night in Rome, Italy AKA our last night in Europe.  Dinner was pasta and gelato for dessert (as was every dinner in Italy.  I don’t think I ate anything other than pizza, pasta, and gelato the entire week.  But I never got sick of it; trust me, European pizza is a lot better than American pizza).  Everyone ordered some wine with their dinner, but to our surprise the waiters brought us full bottles instead of glasses.  The majority of people I was with weren’t keen on drinking too much, but I was down.  I kept saying “I paid six euro for this wine!  I’m going to drink it all!”  Everybody were in great moods because we were all excited to go home the next day.  The energy of the room was uplifting and it was just an all-around amazing night.

Thanks to the recommendation of  my mom, I’ve decided to accept Gwen Bell’s Best of 2009 Blog Challenge to help me out of the current writer’s block I’m struggling with.

I don’t think it’s any secret what the best trip of the year was for me; obviously I would choose two-week vacation in Europe I took over the summer.  I can’t even explain how amazing it was despite the achy legs due to the long walks and the long bus rides and especially the long flights.  But just the chance to meet new people and see new places was exhilarating.  It was so nice to get away from the rut I had been in and come out of my shell a little.

It’s funny how that one phrase we used to joke about has become so true for us.  Actually, it’s not funny at all.

How did we let this happen?  We used to be the closest of friends, us three.  Now we can’t even bring ourselves to make eye contact when we pass.

What the fuck?  You two seem so close now, even closer than before.  How is it that I am the only one who’s out?

I’ve done so much thinking lately and have gone over all the possible scenarios.  Have I changed?  Or is it you who has changed?  Or maybe it’s just the changing of the times?  All the thinking has come down to this: I’m just not a good friend.  How can I be; I can’t open up to people.  I’m too quiet and I have a hard time trusting people enough.  I’m constantly surrounded by people who need to fill to void with constant chatter and when I do have something to say I can’t get a word in edgewise.  I’m a terrible friend.  It’s whatever.

I suppose I’ve got to move on, because everyone else obviously has.  It’s for the best, right?  Perfect timing; we’ll soon go off to our various colleges and universities where we can really pretend like we never met.

You know, this kind of started out as a sympathy letter, but now I don’t give a fuck what you think of it, or me.

All I ask is for some acknowledgement when you see me, because, after all, we were friends for at least six years.

Please believe me….

I’m sure you know the rest. =)

I just wanted to let everyone in on my emotional roller-coaster that’s been going on as of late.  I’ve been so incredibly stressed (as I have stated in previous posts) and all of that stress has been making me unhappy.  I hate being unhappy, it’s the worst feeling ever.  Well maybe not the worst, but it’s a step above depression which makes it pretty bad.  Being unhappy has driven me absolutely insane, and I honestly think that unhappiness is the reason I’ve been so frugal with my money recently.

But, thankfully, a number of recent events have brought me back to the sunny-side of life.  One of which is finally getting my own room, which led to me having much more privacy (thanks to a lock on my door) and not being so grumpy and/or bitchy all the time.  Another is making more time for my friends.  I used to come home from work every weekend and sulk because no one would call me and invite me out.  Well I’ve realized that a friendship is most definitely a two-way street and I have to put some effort into it.  So I began to call them and invite them to hang out with me.  Trust me, it’s done wonders.  One more thing (but definitely not the last) that is helping out is turning in one of my college applications.  Now I just have to apply for financial aid and scholarships and more stressful things like that!

I’m so excited for what the immediate future holds for me, because (I hope) things can only get better from here!